Sunday, August 24, 2008

Agnostics Do Not Exist


MR. BLACK
I think there is a little confusion as what it means to be agnostic, so all you on the fence fucks listen up. By definition agnosticism is a philosophical stance that states there is no way to prove or disprove the existence of a god or gods. Basically, it's someone who is unsure about the where we came from, and doesn't want to commit one way or the other.

But here's the deal. You're either a theist or an atheist. A theist is someone who believes in some divine power that created everything we know, watches over us, etc etc. An atheist is the exact opposite of that, someone who has no belief in such an idea, hence the "a" preceding the "theist."

Now I know what you all are thinking. Atheists deny the existence of a god or gods right? Sure some do, but by the nature of the definition, it simply means you do not have a belief, not that you're claiming to know the inner workings of the cosmos. I think the main confusion with atheists like myself is that theists believe we are stating with absolute certainty that there is not a god or gods. I do not put myself in that camp. I'm not going to make a claim for something I cannot prove. Do I think it is highly improbable that there is a divine power watching over us? Yes. Can I prove it? No. Do I think it's foolish to believe in something without proof? Hell yes, and I will probably tell you if you do.

Can a theist prove that The Flying Spaghetti Monster didn't create the universe? No, but do they "lack a belief" in it? Of course they do. So essentially theists are atheists when it comes to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. They are also atheists when it comes to fairies, dragons, gnomes, and elves. They cannot prove or disprove their existence. Why do you need a special word that essentially means "nothing." You either have a belief or you do not have a belief. There is no word for not having a car; you have a car or you don't.

So what is Agnosticism? Well it's a philosophy, just like I stated before. You can both be an agnostic and an atheist. When you state that you believe you cannot prove or disprove the existence of a god or gods, it still means you don't have a belief in one. See where this is going yet? All of you agnostics are atheists. So stop being chicken shits and own up to the word. I know everyone is afraid of it, but now that I've hopefully cleared some of the fog from your brains, you may not be so afraid to call yourselves one.

So the next time someone asks your spiritual stance and you fit into the atheist, but philosophically agnostic camp you'll know what to say. It is a highly misunderstood word that probably shouldn't even exist. We don't have a word for someone who doesn't believe in fairies do we? Theism gets for more credibility than it deserves.

If you'd like a little more depth into what these terms mean, please visit their respective wikipedia entries:

Atheism
Agnosticism
Theism
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MR. WHITE
Since I have a quota to fill I will comment on a few things.

Comment one:
That picture looks like a floating nut-sack with tentacles...

Comment two:
Are we still having lunch when you get into town next weekend?

As you can see I'm not as passionate about this topic as my fellow "Atheist" Mr. Black. I guess I just don't give a shit about titles anymore. Who cares what I consider myself? I hate whenever people ask me what belief I am. I just don't think about it like I used to. What good are titles anyway? Next time someone asks me I'm just going to stare at them until they walk away.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MR. BLACK

"I guess I just don't give a shit about titles anymore."

That is exactly my point, there shouldn't be a word for it. However, this post wasn't a tool to help you label yourself, merely a tool to alleviate some confusion as to what the word truly is.

No comments: