Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I Didn't See Your Fat Ass on the Field Last Night


MR. BLACK
I'm sure you've ALL heard something like this the day after some sporting event.

"Oh man, WE kicked so much ass, WE are totally going to the playoffs."

Funny, you'd think this was locker room banter amongst players after a big game. But no, it usually comes from some fat fuck who couldn't run to the bar to fill up his pitcher at the pizza parlor counter during a commercial break, let alone the length of a football field. You know who I'm talking about. The guy who hasn't played a game of football since high school--if ever--and most likely spends his nights in front of the television watching the "big game" dripping nacho cheese on his too tight fan jersey.

I've confronted people about this issue before and gotten remarks similar to this:

"The fans are just as much a part of the team as the player, the players need the fans."

Every industry needs fans, sure, but how are you boosting team morale with your fat ass wedged between a bag of Lays and an extra large pizza? Hell you're not even from the team's home state are you? Of course not, so how could you possibly make the "WE" claim? It's not like you're part of a university rooting for your team at their games, or even one of those disgusting painted fucks in the stands. So how could you possibly claim to be any part of it?

So unless you step foot on the field at the game you are claiming that "WE" did so well on, shut the fuck up and have another slice of pizza.

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