Friday, August 29, 2008

Just How Hot Is Fuck Anyways?

MR. WHITE
This is neither a rant nor rave but an inquiry into our strange and somewhat unintelligent form of language.

I just now heard a coworker make the statement, "It's hot as fuck". Now I'm not criticizing his description of temperature because I'm guilty of the same use of the word "fuck".

I just think it's funny how we use phrases in our everyday lives that make absolutely no sense at all without even questioning it.

Just How Hot Is Fuck Anyways?

Could you imagine this being a more acceptable word to measure something?

Example:
"Your Honor, the Defendant is guilty as fuck".

I think if we're going to continue this line of speech then we should once and for all define the depth of the word "fuck".

How many feet is fuck?
How hot is fuck?
How much is fuck?

And here's another question. Is Fuck the ultimate extreme? Would another word be as effective?

Lets find out:

"This cake is good as bitch".

No, doesn't seem to hold the same weight. Lets try another.

"God my boss is dumb as ass".

Still not quite the same. However, there is one contender that may just equal fuck. That word is shit. What happens when we combine the two?

"This shit is good as fuck".

Hmm interesting...

Here now is and expert on the word, Mr. Black.
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MR. BLACK
First of all, let me start by saying "fuck" is my favorite word. I guess Mr. White needs a little schooling on this amazing word of the English language.

In all of the examples you listed above, the word "fuck" pertains to a large amount or high degree. Now the very amount can't be quantified because everyone has difference levels of tolerance--as with heat--or varying levels of taste, as with flavor or sexual attraction.

So when someone says, "Man it's hot as fuck." That means very hot. Or "She's hot as fuck," means very attractive. And yes, shit and fuck can be used quite successfully together in a variety of ways, even multiple times in a sentence such as:

"I'm so fucked, this shit is fucked as fuck." Now tell me what other word can be used in such a variety of ways?

Fuck is another word that just feels good to say. I mean it has a harsh "F" sound as well as a "UH" and a hard "K." And even though Dane Cook has turned into complete tool, he has a good bit on the word fuck.


1 comment:

Dr. Squid said...

A personal favorite:

"How exactly does one 'Suck a Fuck'?"

Here are some I have personally heard Mr. White say:

"Oh man that steak is good as dick!"

"That transvestite looks hot as fuck!"