Thursday, August 14, 2008

Why lie?....I need a beer.

MR. WHITE

On my way back from lunch I noticed a man holding that typical cardboard calling card of the homeless with some interesting text.

"Why lie?....I need a beer".

I thought to myself, now that I can respect. Here's a guy who doesn't want to waste your time or guilt you with a story about his dog needing special treatment from a doctor in Alabama. No, he gets to the fucking point which is I need a beer. Wish that I could have obliged but I don't carry cash. Now let me get one thing straight before I go any further with this. I don't find homeless people or their situation funny. But here's the thing. It pisses me off whenever I get a mouthful of shit that is designed to make me feel like crap. It only makes it harder for me to want to give. And I have given.

Then there's that casual insult they slip in at the end when I tell them I don't have any money. You've all heard it, "thank you anyways and have a blessed day". Man I hate that. I've even had people get mad at me because I didn’t have any change to give them.

I suppose I’m just burnt from an experience I once had that’s has left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Allow me to weave this magical tail of stupidity.

One night when my wife and I were heading home from dinner I was approached by an older woman. I knew as I neared my apartment door what was to come. She asked if I would drive her to a gas station to fill up a small gas can so she could get home. I really didn’t want to do it but I hesitated. It’s also important to note that it was very late at night and during a time when I lived in a less then reputable neighborhood. I finally resolved to take the gas can and not her to the station. When she brought me the can I stood there expecting her to give me money for the gas. Low and behold there would be no money forthcoming. Again I hesitated. Now this is when any normal person with half a brain would have said to fuck off…but not me..no not fatty McButter pants. Anyways to make a long story longer I went to a gas station only to find it closed and had to find yet another one. And remember, this is 1:00 in the morning and on my dime. I finally achieved my quest after about half an hour of which there was no quest reward or experience gained (more on my obsession with WOW later).

So that should give you a little insight to why I feel so strongly on the subject. If your going to expect something from me then I better get something in return. Or humor me with a clever sign. Maybe I'm insensitive about homeless people but I'm not going to feel guilty for their plight. I had nothing to do with the choices they made but I really hope that man gets his beer.
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MR. BLACK
Hey man, looks like you caused quite a stir with that heartfelt tale of selflessness. Strangely enough, someone is already contacting us to take you up on your offer. Being, well....homeless, she doesn't have the resources to get ahold of you, but she wanted me to pass this on to you. I guess this place is getting more traffic than we thought. Oh and sorry about that last line, but she INSISTED on it. Must be some homeless code or something.

1 comment:

Shawn said...

I can't believe Mr. Black posted a photo of his Mom...that's just not right...