Saturday, August 16, 2008


If you haven't noticed, there is a virus spreading over the globe and it's called the Wii. I for one, just don't fucking get it. Basically, it's an overclocked Gamecube that you can control with a little wand and your best friend Nintendo charges you $250 for it. That is IF you can find one. Meanwhile, you can pay $50 more and buy a console with a much larger game library, great online service, and games that don't look like they were developed 10 years ago.

Now don't get me wrong. Nintendo created an amazing business model which is bringing them profits never before seen by the company. It is also causing people who normally don't play video games to go out and buy one. I think it's great when a company is successful, especially one in the interactive entertainment industry, because I have been a big gamer since the Coleco Vision days.


Here is my problem. All businesses exist to make a profit and what is selling right now in the gaming industry? A console that esentially creates mini games and charges you full price for them. Now I know Nintendo has brought their franchises back--surprise, surprise, right?--but the vast majority of games available on the Wii are bullshit. They cater to the extreme casual gamer who only want to bring them out when they have guests over.

Woah, woah woah, whats the problem with families getting together and playing video games? Nothing. But remember a paragraph ago I said that all businesses exist to make a profit? Well there you go. Microsoft and Sony are the other two big players in the gaming industry and they want to make a profit too. With the next iteration of the Play Station or the Xbox do we want to play Cooking Mama or jump around with marshmallow looking avatars collecting coins and other fluffy crap?

If you do, then get the fuck out. Close your browser window and go jerk off to your hentai. I don't want to be part of a world where the only video games I get to play feature large-eyed, purple-haired heroines or fat fucking italian plumbers.

But that isn't happening yet. Thank the gods of headshots and curbstomps. Franchises like Halo, Gears of War, and Grand Theft Auto are still outselling the kiddie shit for now. So the developers still see a huge market for those type of adult content games. I'm all for kids and families having their fun too, I just don't want to see everyone following suit and stop developing for the mature gamer.

Another thing I'm a fan of are new IP's (independent properties) like Mass Effect, Bioshock, S.T.A.L.K.E.R., and most recently Dead Space. They're all bringing something new to the table, and not just gameplaywise. They are treating every aspect of the art equally, from art direction, to technology, to story. I hope there continues to be a market for these types of games. The day that the only games to buy are Japanese franchise sequels that are a good 20+ years old is the day I quit gaming.

So if this concerns you as well, go out and buy some new IP's. Fund the developers who actually want to bring new life into games, new stories, and new game mechanics. Don't support the fucks who just want to create games where you wave your arms around controlling Fisher Price avatars.
As you will come to understand, my experience in the gaming world is limited and pales in comparison to my good friend Mr. Blacks. I've never been up with the latest and greatest console or PC games to date. In fact I've had to live vicariously through Mr. Black with games such as Condemned (a game I highly recommend ) where I served as a look out for crowbar wielding psychos. That's right buddy I got you back.

Mr. Black and I actually have a running joke about how I'm only part geek. A fact which saddens me. However, I do have some game time experience with the Wiik.....I mean Wii. No I don't own one but My father-inlaw does. It's entertaining especially after you've had a few rounds of drinks. But just being entertaining isn't enough. I need something I can lose myself in, that constantly challenges me and theres only so much I can get out of bowling.

On the flip side I do think that the Wii has been paramount in capturing the interest of women. I think it's to the benefit of all men that our women come to understand our passion of the pixel escapism that is gaming.

I don't think we're under any threat of the lowbrow platform taking over the more advanced and visual appeal of the Xbox or PS3 (i may have just opened a new can of worms for Mr. Black by mentioning the "P" word).
Before we close, I should mention one thing. I'm not targeting this at the people who own multiple consoles. I see the Wii as a secondary console that is more of a novelty/party thing, not a solitary console. Most people I talk to who own the Wii all say the same thing: "Yeah it was pretty fun, but I haven't played it in months."

Mr. White, I do have to respond to one thing you said:

"On the flip side I do think that the Wii has been paramount in capturing the interest of women."

True, the Wii as a much more accessible console, but if anything it makes our hobby look even more like a joke or something just for kids. Most women already think that of gaming, that it's just for kids and why would we as adults still be interested in it? So nothing evolves.

And amazingly enough there are people out there who consider themselves "gamers" and only own the Wii.





Dr. Squid said...

Hmm I have to say that I mostly agree with the two of you (are you hetero life partners or what?). The WII is vastly underpowered in both graphics and... well... graphics.

And what the fuck is up with having to use that stupid remote to control every damn thing? I mean take the latest Zelda game for example....I honestly preferred it on the GameCube (which didn't even support widescreen!) because I didn't have to wave the damn remote every time I wanted to swing my sword. All I had to do was press a button. I mean, the whole "realistic controls" thing is really damn fun....for the first 4 or 5 sword swings. Then it becomes cumbersome and tiring and basically stupid as hell. of the best gaming experiences I have had lately was on the Wii Metroid. And Resident Evil 4. And Super Mario Galaxy. These games were extremely fun and I loved playing them...and they are only available on Wii. Also not just for kids (ok, Mario was pushing it, but it was still a blast).

As for the 360....well GTAIV is a topseller...but was ultimately disappointing. I think the sales of GTAIV say more about how good the LAST game was (San Andreas) than how good the latest iteration is. It in no way captivated me to the point that previous GTA games did. It almost felt like a chore to have to keep playing it: "Come on, play it more, maybe it will get is GTA after all..." Nope. No payoff yet. The music (which, for me, is about 50% of the fun) was ridiculously horrible. I get that they are going for an urban/modern soundtrack, but at least put songs on there that we have heard before! If you can't get licenses to put good recognizable music in your game then pull a time warp (ala GTA Vice City and GTA San Andreas) and get old school music that is recognizable (it must be easier to get A-list song licenses when they are a bit older). I'm sorry, but cruising around listening to the 60th urban hip-hop station in a row just sucked. Before this game I thought that all hip-hop sucked. Now I realize that the junk that I hear on the normal radio would be WELCOME in GTAIV if only to get the current crap out of the game...

I won't even mention the "P" word so as to not set off Mr. Black (let's just say it rhymes with "Claystation"), but I would put Sony's console on about the same level as 360 right now...if only it had more games...with the Wii sucking the cock of both.

I don't know, the Wii could be awesome now but I wouldn't know...I haven't played it in months.

Dr. Squid said...

Oh and by the way, the cartoon at the top of this blog had me laughing hard.

Who is responsible, Mr. White or Black?

mr. black and mr. white said...


You make a lot of good points, and really my post isn't aimed at gamers like yourself because you do own and support a variety of different game types.

And I guess my dislike for the Playstation brand has been a little misconstrued. It's not the console I dislike (although I feel it has more shortcomings than advantages when you compare it to the 360), it's the company, Sony. I just can't stand when a company makes you pay more for proprietary technology. From their digital cameras to their laptops, you ALWAYS have to buy Sony for things like SD cards and the like.

I know they were trying to push their new Blu-Ray format which turned out to be a success (yet another thing that costs twice as much as the now dead competition), but I've always disliked proprietary formats because I've felt it only hurts the consumer.

Oh and I did the cartoon, glad you liked it.