Monday, September 8, 2008

Factory Girl

No I'm not talking about the movie (though I hear Guy Pierce is really good in it)

What fucking genius thought it would be cool to come up with a trend where the end result looked like the love child of Elvira and Edward Scissor Hands?

This Emo craze needs to die and fast. It's almost reached the point where teenage girls need to start wearing I.D. bracelets so their parents can identify them when they are picked up from school.

This has to be one of the most unattractive fashion trends to be unleashed upon the masses yet.

Remember that scene in the beginning of 300 where the old man would toss newborns off a cliff if they showed any signs of weakness? Well I'm doing the same goddamn thing if I even get the slightest scent of Emo in my next child.

And any word that even comes close to Elmo is just a huge pile of carbonated jiz.

I almost feel like ranking my dislike of this retarded trend using our typical 1-10 scale. But being the weird and random mother fucker that I am, here is a picture that mirrors my thoughts of just how ugly I think it is.

I apologize to those who read this blog at work.
Wait wait wait wait.....wait. Mr. White you are singling out the female emo problem? I think you're way off in your concerns. Sure it looks odd, but it is still feminine. The emo dudes are the problem. Just look at these jeans. Now on a woman tight jeans are fine, but...

..yeah I think you see what I mean. Or look at this shit:

Yeah so apparently those guys aren't gay. In my google image search crusade looking for "emo guys" to find pictures to post I found out an interesting fact about the emo subculture. It is very normal for two heterosexual guys to kiss if they're emo. Now does this occur because they're a scissor snip away from being a total chick or what? I have no idea, but this site came up during my search: Emo Corner.

If you check out the navigation you'll see links for "emo guys" "emo girls," etc, etc. But the odd thing is there is a link for "emo guys kissing" yet no "emo girls kissing," weird right? So what does this mean? It means that your attack on emo girls is a little odd Mr. White, considering the other side of the coin is clearly more fucked up. If you still need more convincing, here's the final fucking fat nail in the coffin.

My problem, Mr. Black, is that these trends, be it influenced by music or magazines or what have you, lead women to think, "hey that's cute, I want to do that". And being the married men we are I'm not cool with the idea that my wife might one day come home looking like Robert Smith. I'm not saying that she will but you get my point.

I just don't like it when something becomes popular and brainwashes people with the idea that something ridiculous is "cool". Or "sexy" as Mr. Black likes to say.

"I just don't like it when something becomes popular and brainwashes people with the idea that something ridiculous is "cool"."

Unfortunately my friend, that is human nature. And whats wrong with Robert Smith, he's one sexy chick.


Dr. Squid said...

Haha this one is fuckin hilarious. I'm not sure why Mr. White included a naked picture of himself, but whatever.

Dr. Squid said...

ROFL I'm loving two quotes from the site that Mr. Black linked to:

1. "Emo kids have been rounded up and beaten in mass attacks."
It looks like people are reading Mr. White's blog after all...

2. "[Emo is] a sub genre of punk music which has grown to be more popular then punk it's self."
Hmmm....what else can i say but....BULLSHIT!!