Monday, March 9, 2009

Just An Observation: Winnie The Pooh

Mr. White
As a father I'm subject to watching tons of kids cartoons including the infamous fat ass Winnie The Pooh. After watching an episode this morning I realized something very interesting. It seems that Pooh and friends could greatly benefit from group therapy.

Lets start with Pooh.

Here we have the classic gluttonous bear with an eating disorder. But what makes this sad condition interesting is that Pooh often refers to his belly as a separate identity in a pathetic attempt to remove himself from any responsibility of his actions. Here is a quote from Pooh to give you an example.

"I don't know how it happened... I only wanted one but my tummy kept asking for more".

Sad indeed.

Now on to Piglet, our overly paranoid little bitch pig friend.

Piglet is constantly and needlessly shitting himself over anything. He is famous for his worried mantra of "Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear"! Piglet's fear is so debilitating that he is often unable to leave his house. In one cartoon special entitled "Pooh's Heffalump Halloween" Piglet is too afraid to participate in trick or treating with his friends thus selfishly ruining Halloween for everyone and creating what Pooh refers to as a Hallowasn't.

To Piglets credit he does at least try to overcome his fear by constructing a monster in his house which of course scared him.

Then we have Tigger who suffers from ADHD and possibly a coke addiction. Here is a video to illustrate his condition.

I rest my case...

And of course let's not forget Rabbit, the obsessive compulsive crack addict who looks down his nose at everyone. I suspect that Rabbit is also gay as he likes to garden.

And last but not least my favorite pedophile, Gofer. I can't prove that he's a pedophile but I have my suspicions.

I know there's more characters in the wondrous world of that fat little bear named after a piece of shit but I don't have time to analyze everyone and I'm late for my appointment with my therapist.

Mr. Black

Who cares.  Winnie the Poo is stupid.  Post something good.

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