Monday, August 30, 2010

Slang That Blows Volume 3: Bounce and Bump-N-Uglies


Mr. White
I don't know about you but the phrase bump-n-uglies does not inspire a blood rush to the cock. So when Mrs. White asks me if I would like to bump said uglies what I really picture is too messed up looking mother fuckers trying but very unsuccessfully having sex. What ever happened to "hey baby, nice shoes, wanna fuck"? I mean come on, you can't degrade something like sex or fucking or lovemaking or whatever you feel comfortable saying by referring to the act as bump-n-uglies. That would be like saying, "Hey Mr. Black, wanna go to Golden Ox and plunge slaughtered cattle down our flesh pipes"? See what I mean? But it seems the world is intent on taking simple things and trying to put their own spin on it in an attempt to sound cool. I blame rap.

The second slang term I hate is bounce. It's usually used when someone wants to leave, "yo, lets bounce". This slang is not only annoying but disappointing as well. What I mean is that if you tell me you're going to bounce then you better actually bounce! BOUNCE MOTHER FUCKER, BOUNCE! Sadly I have yet to see anyone do it. But I guess they don't want to look stupid, instead they would rather sound stupid. Well I don't feel like talking anymore and Mrs. White wants to bump uglies so I better bounce. Peace out.

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Mr. Black
You're right. I think if Mrs. Black told me she wanted to bump uglies with me, my dick would probably invert into my body and die.

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