Friday, September 10, 2010

Movie Review: Machete

Mr. White
Well I just got back from seeing Robert Rodriguez's Machete so I thought I'd write up a review before signing onto World of Warcraft.

I'm not one for writing these things, I usually just leave them up to Mr. Black but I'll give it a shot. Now I'm not going to give you the synopsis here because I really hate when reviewers do that. If you want to know what the movie's about then make the effort to watch the trailer.

Robert Rodriguez took a controversial pinata and stuffed it with every racial slur and cliche he could fit. He then proceeded to beat the hell out of it, spilling tons of politically incorrect and pleasantly offensive candy goodness throughout the entire film. Machete makes no apologies and refuses to pull any punches from naked senoritas pulling cell phones out of their twats to Lindsay Lohan enjoying a sex taco with her mom and Machete while being video taped in a waterfall. Fuck that was a mouthful.

It's was clear from the word Mexican that this was about having fun. With that said there's no need to go into how well the actors played their parts.

Over the top violence? Check.
Nudity? Check.
Cheech Marin being crusified on a cross before blowing the heads off bad guys in a church? Fucking check.

That right there would be enough to get some of you to see the film I'm sure. But I know you're wondering, did I like it? Sure it was fun like I said. I'll be honest I was expecting a little more but I'm not complaining.

Ok, ok, I'll complain a little. When I first saw the trailer (fucking watch it already, I'm really not telling you what its about) I was led to believe that Machete was going to be a throw back to old 80s b movies. It seems like it started off that way but just lost steam after a while and they just said fuck it. But that's really not a big deal. Then there was the end fight scene with Steven Segal which was very anticlimactic. If you've seen the trailer (don't make me tell you again) you've seen the fight.

So the real question you should be asking is "should I see it Mr. White"? My answer is sure you should, it's not a bad film. In fact it's a good film, just don't expect it to change your life.

Well there you have it, my first real movie review. If you want long winded reviews then visit Chud.

7.5/10

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Mr. Black
I haven't seen the film, so this is based solely off of what Mr. White has mentioned. I'll probably feel about this film like I did with Planet Terror: it was ok. It's really hard to specify why I found that movie just ok. I think it was because it seemed to try to hard at times rather than being a genuine old school action/pulp/exploitation film. And that's the main reason I didn't go rush to the theaters to see Machete, it's probably just trying too hard again.

Don't get me wrong I'll see it when it comes out on dvd, but as I mentioned a few posts ago, most movies just aren't worth my 10 bucks.

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