Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Random Thoughts: Volume 1


I'll let the title of this post speak for itself.

When I was in preschool I had this really nice teacher who I for some reason called Alabama for the entire year. I suspected at some point that this was not her name. So towards the end of the year I finally decided to ask her.

"Is you name Alabama"?


Why the hell did I think that?....


I remember watching this really weird movie called The Weight of Water with of a group of friends one night. If I recall correctly it was about a murder and there where some Amish people in it with really long beards. One of the girls in the group asked why the men in the movie had such long beards to which I replied:

"That's so they can braid it into their pubic hairs and play the violin".


Once when I was a kid I was in the kitchen with my friend and I was asking him for advice about girls and he was standing there looking in the fridge. I asked him "so what do you think i should do"? And he pulls a out a carton of milk, starts drinking it and pulls his dick out.


One time when we were kids, Mr. White told me that his dad shaved his pubic hair into a flat top. The funny thing is, it took me 20 years to even realize that that was physically impossible. Not the shaving part, but the cranial curvature that must exist to create a flat top.


Why do women not like to give head because of the "taste" when guys have to "taste" shit the entire time, not just at the end?

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